


greed is a sin (that lua klein ponders alongside love)

by WattStalf



Series: cos your love's got the best of me (baby, you're making a fool of me) [23]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: F/M, warning for all the usual fun that comes with these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7770151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Last I checked, the only thing you've ever asked for from me is for me to kill ya, right?</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	greed is a sin (that lua klein ponders alongside love)

**Author's Note:**

> greed is a difficult sin to work with lmao

She wonders, often, if she is greedy for always wanting to keep him to herself.

In the past, she's always wondered if it were even possible for her to be guilty of something such as greed. Lua had lived an average life before being swept away with Ladd, but there was never truly any want for anything. Even when she didn't have something that someone else might have, even when she saw something that everyone else seemed to want, she felt... _nothing_.

The only thing she had ever truly wanted, and even now, she can't say for sure that she ever _wanted_ it so much back then, was to die, and to die beautifully and perfectly. She supposes that it was the closest thing she had to a desire back then, because it was the only thing that gave her any sort of feeling, but even so, she never would have called herself _greedy_ for it. Her desire for death was never any more sinful than any desire for death would be, and so she never thought herself capable of greed.

Ladd doesn't impress her much at first, but there has never been anyone who impresses her. There have been men who have attempted to court her, and every last one of them has been a bore, men that she couldn't hope to try to talk to, so, naturally, she doesn't think much of Ladd, with his easy grin. It isn't until she learns how much of an artist he is, what with the way he creates deaths for others, that she is intrigued, and she soon learns to love every part of him as much as she loves the murder.

He is handsome, even if he hadn't stood out much to her at first, and he can keep a conversation going that she can't help but hang on to, because he is so charismatic and has an energy she has never possessed. These are things she never cared about in others before, but in him, she sees how admirable they really are, and that is how her love for him grows so quickly.

It has gotten to the point that she loves him so much, she isn't sure it is possible for _anyone_ to feel this strongly about another, much less someone like her, someone who had never felt much of anything before. Perhaps she's making up for all the years of emptiness through him, but she doubts she could have felt this much for anyone _but_ him, so it doesn't really matter one way or the other.

In any case, she knows desire now, and she knows what it is like to really want something, so much that it consumes her thoughts and she feels as though she would do anything to have it, and it's more than just her own death. That is something she still desires, and even desires more than before, but it is because Ladd can give it to her and Ladd is going to give it to her, and it is going to be even more beautiful and perfect than she can possibly imagine.

And beyond that, before that, she desires him, and all of him, and everything about him, so much that she sometimes feels like she will never be able to get enough, even when she's right there next to him. She doesn't know how she's managed to play cool all this time, her face as calm, her voice as docile as ever before, when there are so many feelings welling up in her whenever she remembers just how much she feels that she _needs_ him.

He isn't an object, however. Ladd is a man, a magnificent man but a man nonetheless, and even if he has given her many gifts and there is always promise of wealth through him, that has nothing to do with her attraction to him. Though she always wants more, though she is almost certain that she will never be fully satisfied, though she wants to keep all of him to herself, the lack of physical wealth and the lack of desire for material things makes her wonder if this can be considered greed. Is she greedy in the way she loves Ladd? Is she greedy in the way she wants every part of him, and more and more each day? Is she greedy to sometimes suspect that she wants more than he will ever be capable of giving her?

She doesn't really mind if she is, and the reason she wonders is not because she is concerned. Ladd certainly isn't any more of a saint than she is, and he has been the only thing that has mattered for a very long time. A few sins on her part don't matter, and it's only curiosity that even causes her to question it at this point. Can it be greed if it's with another person and if it's a result of your love for them? This is what Lua wonders.

It's a quiet day, even for her, and Ladd is relaxing, with her head resting on his shoulder, talking to her about nothing in particular. This is when she brings her curiosity to his attention and she says, “Do you think I'm a greedy person?”

“Huh?” He looks down at her, one eyebrow raised. “What kinda question is that? Last I checked, the only thing you've ever asked for from me is for me to kill ya, right?”

“I was just wondering,” she replies, her voice playful. She stops to think about the fact that she didn't even know she _had_ a playful tone of voice before him, but only for a second, and Ladd looks even more confused.

“Huh?” he repeats, before bursting out laughing. “Dollface, sometimes I swear I have no idea what you're going on about! You know you gotta keep things simple for me, right?” He shakes his head, and that is the end of the discussion.

She never comes up with an answer to her question, but because it was never a particularly important question to begin with, this isn't much of a problem. If she is greedy for loving him, then it doesn't really matter, because if it's all just a result of how much she feels for him, and knowing that she loves him to begin with, that she feels this much, makes it hard to question the integrity of it all.

Her last thought on the subject, before she decides to forget about it entirely, is one regarding others and how they might love. She has never paid much attention to the ins and outs of other relationships, so she can't say that she knows if how much she desires every bit of Ladd is even that abnormal. After all, it's entirely likely that everyone that has been in love has felt that intensity of desire, and if that's the case, then perhaps it isn't anything like greed. Perhaps love is just love, plain and simple, and she's wondering for nothing.

Or there is the possibility that everyone in love is very, _very_ greedy, and that it doesn't matter if it's material wealth or another person; that love and greed go hand in hand. Either way, she realizes that she _is_ wondering for nothing, and decides to forget all about it, letting the question of her own greed disappear from her mind.


End file.
